Second Draft ( major project)

 

  It's day seven. She had her light on the whole night, in her pajamas she wandered across an empty room.

 Why you haven't slept I asked, she did not answer. 

Framed in white gold she stood still across the street, just a reach away. I swore to myself I could smell her hair- coconut oil with a gentle hint of biscuit.  Knock on a door.

Two young men were in front of me, cheeks red as meatballs.

- We here to fix the boiler

I pointed at the bathroom and so they went.

She was gone. 

- We have to order a new part - guy number one started, it will take three to four days to come - the second one finished, As his eyes passed through my kitchen a grim smile appeared on his face. -  I guess you will have to use a kettle for a little while he added. 

She was still gone 

- Okay, thank you. – I nodded

The idea of her not being across the street started to trouble me. I could not simply bare the distance, I see  that window even if my eyes look somewhere else, it seems to always be in my mind, mind picture of some sort framed as a French painting, shes always there and she smiles and waves. And when I’m there, across that filthy street decorated with all sort of trash, from a yesterdays news paper to a banana peal in the middle of the street, Christmas décor if Santa was a grinch. Cars screaming at each other, screaming at pedestrians who more often than not seemed to be lost with in, no purpose no particular destination, it is said that if you walk long enough eventually you going to reach your destination, mine was in front of me, beyond this pale cold world. In a worm window she sat, and that window was a world to me.

-       Let me in – I screamed, Let me in , -so hopelessly I begged.

She did not seem to care.

Arranging her books on a study table without a single care In the world, I can  only imagine that was her safe space, She would sit there for hours, often drawing , sometimes she would read a book and be really focused and out of nowhere she would jump across the room  as if she forgotten something important and moments later I would see her dancing and spinning around as tiny ballerina in a tv screen. Goofing like a child after critical dose of sugar.

I wished her to look up, but she didn’t.  She carried on arranging her books.

Steam turpeth filled my living room with hissing of a signalling train

.  I heard that repetitive noise works as some sort of meditation, relaxes the mind. Total bullshit. I wish to swing it at a wall, to see it shatter but for now it something that keeps me alive.  

Not a single clean dish it sight, rinsing them off and using again. Rinsing my self off and not feeling any cleaner.  It took me at least three kettles to accumulate enough water so I could take at least half decent shower as the kettle was boiling for a third time, I leaned against doors leading to balcony and lighted up a cigarette,

She was there, next to a window watering bouquet of red chrysanthemums, so innocent so careful and precise.

Her head turned, and suddenly we were looking at one another, She smiled and enormous relief filled my body. She accepted me. I raised my hand and waved with quick left to right motion, she responded with the same awkwardness, wide smile on her face and a look that could weaken toughest knees. She waved again but this time towards herself, Me?  As if she was not across the street but just a reach away. She nodded.

 

 

 

I ran across the street, not looking left or right, nothing else seemed to exist besides that narrow purple door in front of me.  What if she laughs, what if she thinks I’m crazy, could she possible see feelings i have for her bursting through my eyes, could she see the love I have for her and could she understand and let me in so I would never be alone again.

I reached for a doorbell and my hearth pounded along , one time, two, thee, I took a step back fallowing with a deep breath to calm my self down. I tried to listen as hard as I could, usually you can hear people coming to the door, but no one was coming not a single creak or squeak was coming my way, I turned the corner to take a look if I could see her in a window but lights were off, unusually early – I though as I never seen them off, ever. I came back to the door and

 

 

I rang the doorbell three more times, but no one ever came.

 

                                                              The End.